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Hungover Happy Poppy
Yve & Crow

Hungover Happy Poppy

Regular price $6.00 Sale price $8.00

Happy Poppy, one of the most popular stars of The Soap Cupboard, was the star of her own red carpet drama today.

Booked to open Melbourne’s hottest new coffee house / baby scorpion petting zoo, Happy Poppy rocked up late to the opening looking worse for wear & clearly drunk.

Barely able to announce & thank the sponsors for their contributions, she & her entourage displayed a shocking lack of professionalism by giggling & falling over each other, mimicking baby scorpions stinging each other, & snorting with laughter. A couple of Happy Poppy friends were unable to get themselves up off the floor & were later carried out by fans to continue on at another party. Happy Poppy was overheard saying ‘Why would anyone want to pat a freakin’ baby scorpion, though?’

‘Scandalous!’ someone yelled from the crowd.

Happy Poppy was given copious amounts of coffee & was forced to wait it out until her publicist, Gina Loop arrived to make a brief soap sale / apology statement.

‘On behalf of Happy Poppy & The Soap Cupboard, we would like to offer an apology to ‘The Coffee Sting’ for today’s disturbance. Happy Poppy had a terrific time at a party thrown by George Clooney last night & unfortunately felt some pressure to keep up with Brad Pitt. She’s very embarrassed & hopes that she might make it up to you by offering you $6 Happy Poppy soap bars. They do look worse for wear as they are extremely hungover but there’s nothing wrong with them. Well, apart from being morons & making my job more difficult,’ said Loop.

‘And I would just like to say,’ Happy Poppy slurred, ‘that I drank Pitt under the TABLE! Enjoy the soap sale, Poppers. Hiccup.’

Happy Poppy was escorted out of there shortly afterwards & Brad Pitt was unavailable for comment at the time this went to print.

 

*Latest batch of HP soap bars oxidized too much during the first few hours of curing. Sometimes it happens. It looks ugly but they’re just as good. x


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